New Alcohol Warning Labels
| The FDA is considering
additional warning labels on beer and alcohol containers.
Some of the suggestions are as follows: |
| WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. |
| WARNING, the consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole. |
| WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in. |
| WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. |
| WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 AM. |
| WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants. |
| WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary whose species and/or name you can't remember. |
| WARNING, the consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. |
| WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck. |
| WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. |
| WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you. |
| WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear. |
| WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy |
Oh...and remember, "Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder!"
 |
 |
 |
 |