The Darwin Award, for
those not familiar, is given every year. It is
bestowed upon (the remains of) those individuals who,
through their single-minded self-sacrifice, have done
the most to remove undesirable elements from the
human gene pool.
- Los Angeles, CA
-- Ani Saduki, 33, and his brother decided to
remove a bees nest from a shed on their property
with the aid of a "pineapple". A
pineapple is an illegal firecracker that is the
explosive equivalent of one-half stick of
dynamite. They ignited the fuse and retreated to
watch from inside their home, behind a window
some 10 feet away from the hive/shed. The
concussion of the explosion shattered the window
inwards, seriously lacerating Ani. Deciding Mr.
Saduki needed stitches, the brothers headed out
to go to a nearby hospital. While walking towards
their car, Ani was stung three times by the
surviving bees. Unbeknownst to either brother,
Ani was allergic to bee venom, and died of
suffocation en route to the hospital.
- A driver, who crashed
into the side of a 3000-ton wheat train and was
dragged in his car more than a kilometer before
being slammed into a pylon at the edge of a
cliff, fell to his death as he walked for help.
The Queensland, Australia man, 63, and his female
companion, 64, were driving along the Newell
Highway near Moree, in Northwestern New South
Wales, on Wednesday night, police said. Their car
crashed into the side of a fully-laden, 600-meter-long
train at a level crossing. (I guess that would be
harder to miss than the side of a barn!)
The vehicle became wedged between the second last
and last carriages and was dragged sideways
beside the track as the train continued towards
Moree, a police spokeswoman said. After being
carried more than a kilometer and a half, they
approached an unfenced bridge with a 10 meter
drop, the spokeswoman said. Moments before they
reached the precipice, the car was struck by a
pylon, dislodged from the train, and spun several
times. When it came to rest, the pair managed to
free themselves from the wreck (I wonder if it
was a Volvo?) with minor bruising and the man set
off along the railway line for help. But he
slipped on the bridge and fell to his death, the
spokeswoman said. The woman was eventually able
to raise the alarm and was recovering in Moree
hospital with chest injuries.
- Minneapolis, MN
-- Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April
with third-degree murder in the death of his
beloved cousin, Kenneth E. Richards. According to
police, Derrick suggested a game of Russian
roulette and put a semi-automatic pistol (instead
of the more traditional revolver) to Ken's head
and fired.
- Phillipsburg, NJ
-- An unidentified 29 year old male choked to
death on a sequined pasty he had orally removed
from an exotic dancer at a local establishment.
"I didn't think he was going to eat it,"
the dancer, identified only as "Ginger",
said, adding "He was really drunk."
- In February, according
to police in Windsor, Ont., Daniel Kolta, 27, and
Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision,
thus earning a tie in the game of chicken they
were playing with their snowmobiles.
Honorable
Mentions - (non-fatal)
- In Gulf Breeze, FL,
three unidentified teenage males were using a
home video camera to film an action/adventure
"movie" one of the boys had written. In
a scene that called for one character to be
ignited by fire, the "special effects
coordinator," age 15, prepared the "stunt"
youth by dousing lighter fluid onto his clothes.
The intentional fire, which proved unexpectedly
difficult to extinguish, left the young man with
third degree burns on his left arm, torso, and
both legs. It was all captured on film.
- In Bradford, PA, J.
Cruwe, 28, caught a small snake in a container
that he handed to his wife. She opened the
container and, startled to see the snake, dropped
it. The excited and, as it turns out, poisonous
snake immediately bit Mr. Cruwe on the shin. Mr
Cruwe survived the wound and recovered after a
short visit to the local emergency room.
- In rural Carbon
County, PA, a group of men were drinking beer and
discharging firearms from the rear deck of a home
owned by Irving Michaels, age 27. The men were
firing at a raccoon that was wandering by, but
the beer apparently impaired their aim and,
despite the estimated 35 shots the group fired,
the animal escaped into a 3-foot-diameter
drainage pipe some 100 feet away from Mr.
Michaels' deck. Determined to terminate the
animal, Mr. Michaels retrieved a can of gasoline
and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke
the animal out. After several unsuccessful
attempts to ignite the fuel, Michaels emptied the
entire 5-gallon fuel can down the pipe and tried
to ignite it again, to no avail.
Not one to admit defeat by wildlife, the
determined Mr. Michaels proceeded to slide feet-first
approximately 15 feet down the sloping pipe to
toss the match. The subsequent rapidly expanding
fireball propelled Mr. Michaels back the way he
had come, though at a much higher rate of speed.
He exited the angled pipe "like a Polaris
missile leaves a submarine," according to
witness Joseph McFadden, 31. Mr. Michaels was
launched directly over his own home, right over
the heads of his astonished friends, onto his
front lawn. In all, he traveled over 200 feet
through the air. "There was a Doppler effect
to his scream as he flew over us," McFadden
reported, "followed by a loud thud."
Amazingly, he suffered only minor injuries.
"It was actually pretty cool," Michaels
said, "like when they shoot someone out of a
cannon at the circus. I'd do it again if I was
sure I wouldn't get hurt."
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