Sighting #1:
Heard from an airport
employee: "Has anyone put anything in your
baggage without your knowledge?"
Sighting #2:
The stoplight on the
corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I
was crossing with an intellectually challenged
coworker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the
buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind
people when the light is red. She responded,
appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing
driving?"
Sighting #3:
Heard at a good-bye
lunch for some coworkers who were laid-off due to
"downsizing": "This is fun, we should
get together like this more often." The speaker
was the division manager.
Sighting #4:
Seen at the office: An
adminstrator who plugged her power strip back into
itself could not understand for her life why her
system would not turn on.
Idiots in Retail:
I was signing the
receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed that I had never signed my name on the back
of the credit card. She informed me that she could
not complete the transaction unless the card was
signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was
necessary to compare the signature on the credit card
with the signature on the receipt. So I signed the
credit card in front of her. She then carefully
compared that signature to the one I had just signed
on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
Advice for Idiots:
An actual tip from page
16 of the Hewlett-Packard "Environmental, Health
& Safety Handbook" for employees:
"Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate
your eyes."
Idiots in the
Neighborhood:
A new resident in a
semi-rural area called the local township
administrative office to request the removal of the
Deer Crossing sign near his home. The reason? Many
deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted
them to cross there.
Idiots in Food
Service:
A teen went to a local
Taco Bell and ordered a taco, asking the individual
behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
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