It's time once again to
consider the candidates for the annual Stella
Awards.
(The Stellas are named
after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled
hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds.
That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most
frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.)
The following are this
year's candidates:
- Kathleen Robertson
of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury
of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping
over a toddler who was running inside a furniture
store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict,
considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms.
Robertson's son.
- A 19 year old, Carl
Truman of Los Angeles, won $74,000 and
medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his
hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently
didn't notice that there was someone at the wheel
of the car when he was trying to steal his
neighbor's hub caps.
- Terrence Dickson
of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he
had just finished robbing by way of the garage.
He was not able to get the garage door to go up
since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house
because the door connecting the house and garage
locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on
vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in
the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case
of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food.
He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the
situation caused him undue mental anguish. The
jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
- Jerry Williams
of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and
medical expenses after being bitten on the
buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The
beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.
The award was less than sought because the jury
felt the dog might have been just a little
provoked at the time by Mr. Williams, who was
shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
- A Philadelphia
restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she
slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone).
The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson
had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
during an argument.
- Kara Walton of
Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner
of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she
fell from the bathroom window to the floor and
knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred
while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the
window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50
cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental
expenses.
- This year's favorite
could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased
a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. On his
first trip home, having driven onto the freeway,
he set the cruise control at 70mph and calmly
left the drivers seat to go into the back and
make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly,
the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him
in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually
do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a
new motor home. The company actually changed
their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in
case there were any other complete morons buying
their recreational vehicles.
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